Ruling on upholding ties with one’s mother and siblings through breastfeeding

The shar’i rulings concerning relationships through
breastfeeding are not the same as the rulings concerning relationships
through blood ties. Breastfeeding (radaa’ah) does not mean that one is
obliged to spend on those relatives, or that one is entitled to inherit from
them, or that one may be a guardian for the purpose of marriage – unlike the
case with ties of blood. 

What they have in common is that people related in either way
are forbidden to marry, and may look at one another and be alone with one
another, and are regarded as mahrams for the purpose of travel. 

This is the wisdom of sharee’ah, because Islam cannot give a
mother who breastfed a child five times the same rights as the mother who
carried him, gave birth to him, breastfed him and brought him up, and is the
reason for the child’s existence. Can the love, compassion and devotion in
the heart of the blood mother be likened to that in the heart of the mother
through breastfeeding? 

There are verses of the Qur’aan which refer to that. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to
his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and
hardship, and his weaning is in two years”

[Luqmaan 31:14] 

And Allaah says, after commanding the child to treat his
parents well and forbidding him to do the slightest act of disobedience
towards them (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did
bring me up when I was young’”

[al-Isra’ 17:24] 

Hence some of the
scholars said that a son through breastfeeding has to respect and honour his
mother and his parents through breastfeeding, but he does not have to honour
them and uphold ties with them in the same way as a son is obliged to honour
his parents and relatives by blood. 

There are several da’eef (weak) ahaadeeth on this topic,
which we will mention here so that people may be aware of them. 

1 – It was narrated that al-Tufayl (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: I saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) sharing out some meat in al-Ji’raanah, when a woman came up to the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he spread out
her cloak for her, and she sat down on it. I said, “Who is she?” They said,
“This is his mother who breastfed him.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5144; classed as da’eef by al-Albaani
in Da’eef Abi Dawood, 1102. 

Ibn Hibbaan (10/44)
included this hadeeth in a chapter which he called, “Ways in which it is
recommended for a person to honour the one who breastfed him when he was
small.” 

2 – It was narrated from ‘Umar ibn al-Saa’ib that he heard
that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) was sitting when his father through breastfeeding came to him; he
spread part of his cloak for him and he sat on it. Then his mother through
breastfeeding came to him and he spread part of his cloak on the other side
and she sat on it. Then his brother through breastfeeding came and the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood
up for him and made him sit in front of him. 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5145; classed as da’eef by al-Albaani
in al-Silsilah al-Da’eefah, 1120. 

3 – It was narrated from
Hajjaaj ibn Hajjaaj al-Aslami that his father asked the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O Messenger of Allaah, how can I
repay the favour of breastfeeding?” He said: “(By giving) a male or female
slave.” 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1153; al-Nasaa’i, 3329; Abu Dawood,
2064. Classed as da’eef by al-Albaani in Da’eef Abi Dawood, 445. 

Al-Suyooti said in Sharh al-Nasaa’i, 6/108. 

What is meant by repaying the favour of breastfeeding is the
duties that are owed as a result of having been breastfed. It is as if he is
asking, How can I waive the duties I owe as a result of having been
breastfed so that I will have paid them off in full? They used to regard it
as something good to give a gift to the wet nurse once the child had been
weaned, other the wages that had be agreed upon. End quote. 

4 – The biographers said that when the captive woman of
Hawaazin had been gathered together, their spokesman Zuhayr ibn Sard came
and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, inside the enclosure are your mothers,
your maternal aunts and your nursemaids. Do us a favour (and free us), may
Allaah bless you.”  

These ahaadeeth speak of
honouring and respecting, which are Islamic manners that are encouraged with
regard to all Muslims. This is the reason why the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) set them all free. 

Al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah,
4/419 

And Allaah knows best.