I got married four years ago and it was written in the marriage contract that I had received the mahr. But in fact that is not true and I did not receive anything from him. Deep down in my heart I feel inferior because I have not got it and everyone around me has got their mahrs, and I have started to resent my husband. What is the ruling on this issue? What should I do to avoid haraam? Please note that my husband’s financial situation is better than before.
Praise be to Allaah.
The mahr is
the woman’s right in her marriage, because Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“And give
to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by
the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”
[an-Nisa’
4:4]
“so with
those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as
prescribed”
[an-Nisa’
4:24].
Agreement
should be made on the mahr and it should be mentioned in the marriage
contract; if no agreement has been reached and it is not mentioned in the
marriage contract, the marriage is still valid and the woman should have a
mahr like that of her peers.
You did not
explain in your question whether agreement had been reached on a specific
mahr or nor, or whether it was to be paid immediately or deferred. If there
was agreement on something specific, it is obligatory to adhere to that and
in that case what was written in the contract about you having received the
mahr does not count for anything.
The wife has
the right to demand her immediate mahr and to refuse to let her husband be
intimate with her until he has given her her mahr. As for the deferred
portion, she should not demand it unless the time for it comes.
Ibn Qudaamah
(may Allah have mercy on him) said: If she refuses to let her husband be
intimate with her until she has received her mahr, and it is due to be paid
immediately, she has the right to do that. Ibn al-Mundhir said: All of the
scholars from whom we acquired knowledge are agreed that the woman has the
right to refuse to let the husband consummate the marriage with her until he
gives her her mahr. … if some of it is to be paid immediately and some is
deferred, then she has the right to refuse to let him be intimate with her
before receiving the immediate portion, but not the deferred portion.
End quote
from al-Mughni, 7/200
See also the
answer to question no. 127325
What you
have to do is fear Allah, may He be exalted, concerning yourself and your
husband, and to pay attention to his rights, and not let what you have
mentioned make you hate him.
You should
deal with this problem by finding out about the reasons for it; your
guardian may have received the mahr or he may have agreed with your husband
that the mahr is to be deferred, or some other arrangement. Deal with the
matter calmly and with deliberation, protect yourself and your husband, try
to be gentle and loving at all times, and seek your shar‘i rights without
impinging on your husband’s rights.
And Allah knows best.
