i am in a very emotionally difficult situation at the moment and cannot contemplate anything but my death. i cannot think of anything about my future or anything except death but even then i do not want to die now in the hope that almighty and all merciful allah grant me mercy for the sin i have committed.
the problem is that over the past few months i have grown close to a female. i had no intention to form a sinful relationship at all. The reason i got close to her was to talk her out of the idea of her killing herself. you see she has been suicidal and keeps taking overdose, i tried talking to her and teach her so she would not do this sin and save her from hellfire. but what happened is slowly things went wrong and a wrong relationship formed…we never had sex i never had any intention to have sex. she is married. but the problem that has happened is that she claims that on a occasion i entered her..i do not beleive this because i did not take my clothes off but she was partially nude i am in fear that even if i didnt enter her, i may have done a sin.but if i did then i fear i am doomed.
i do not beleive her because i have found that she does not have good intentions and she may have tried the excuse if being suicidal just to get close to me…
i am very disturbed now i cant sleep or do anything i regret what has happened and pray to allah for forgiveness..all i wanted to do was save someone from hell and now i may have destroyed my own self.
Praise be to
Allaah.
You
have to repent to Allaah from your friendship with this woman, for this
sin that you have fallen into came about as a result of your taking
lightly the matter of this relationship and of being alone with women.
This is an act of disobedience towards Allaah which is deserving of
His punishment and torment. Concerning the seriousness of this matter,
please see Questions # 1114 and 9465.
Secondly:
make a final end to your relationship with this woman and with any other
women with whom you have a relationship, because most of these relationships
end up in committing zinaa which is haraam, or some other kind of physical
relationship which is haraam – we seek refuge with Allaah – even if
at the beginning it was, as you say, a chaste relationship. For the
Shaytaan flows through the son of Adam like his blood. Know that being
alone with a non-mahram woman can never be described as a chaste relationship.
Now
you must hasten to repent to Allaah sincerely, by regretting what has
happened in the past, giving up this relationship and sincerely resolving
never to have any haraam relationship again. This evil woman is trying
to make you imagine and to convince you that you committed an immoral
action with her so that she may use that as a means to make you commit
immoral actions with her again. Even if what she claims were true, that
you committed a haraam action with her, do not let the Shaytaan make
the most of this opportunity or make you despair of the mercy of Allaah,
so that he can mislead you further by making you feel that doing this
again and persisting in it is not a serious matter, or make you think
that repentance is too difficult. The Shaytaan is eager to make you
feel this way, but the mercy of Allaah is vast, so hasten to repent.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say:
‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by
committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah,
verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving,
Most Merciful”[al-Zumar 39:53]
Allaah forgives the sins of those who sincerely repent.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill
such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit
illegal sexual intercourse
and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
The
torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will
abide therein in disgrace;
Except
those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous
deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and
Allaah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
It
was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that a man kissed a woman.
He came to the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him about that. Then the aayah
was revealed (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
perform As Salaah (Iqaamat as Salaah), at the two ends of the day and
in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaah (prayers)].
Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins). That
is a reminder (an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)”[Hood
11:114]
The
man said, “is this for me, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “It is for
all those of my followers who encounter a similar situation.”
According
to another report: “a man did something with a woman that was less than
intercourse.” (narrated by Muslim, al-Tawbah, 4964)
Do
a lot of righteous deeds, prayer and seeking forgiveness. Look for good,
religiously-committed friends who will offer you an alternative to these
haraam relationships. Know that the gate of repentance is open until
the sun rises from the west, and that Allaah accepts the repentance
of His slave until the death rattle sounds in the throat.
Finally,
you must hasten to take the means prescribed in sharee’ah to protect
yourself – by Allaah’s leave – i.e., marriage, which will keep you from
falling into haraam,.
May Allaah help you and us to
do that which He loves and which pleases Him. May Allaah bless our Prophet
Muhammad.
