Guidelines on speaking to a woman who is new in Islam for the purpose of da’wah

May Allaah reward you with good for your gheerah (protective
jealousy) with regard to the rulings of sharee’ah, especially with regard to
those who enter Islam seeking refuge in it from the hell of deviant or
distorted religions. With regard to what you have asked about, the issue of
women who are new in Islam speaking to men, the texts of Islam have set out
basic guidelines governing the relationship between men and women in a
manner that achieves the aims of sharee’ah whilst also protecting Muslim men
and women from the things that lead to fitnah. Wise people – even the
kuffaar themselves – have attested to the effect that these general
guidelines have had in reforming society; this is also to be seen from the
history of Islam. 

Islam describes the basis of the relationship between the
sexes in the Qur’aan and Sunnah. One of the most important texts is the
verse (interpretation of the meaning):  

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women.
If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in
whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should
be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:32] 

What is not allowed here
is being soft in speech. So the woman should speak in an honourable manner.
What this means, as the mufassireen have said, is that a woman should not
make her speech soft when she speaks to men. Although this verse is
addressed to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him), the reason, which is to prevent evil and immoral men from
entertaining indecent notions concerning the chaste Muslim women, is a
reason that is general in meaning, so all the believing women are included
here. Al-Jassaas said concerning this verse: It indicates that this is a
ruling which applies to all women: they are forbidden to speak softly to men
in a manner that might make them entertain indecent notions concerning them.
Ahkaam al-Qur’aan, 5/229. 

Islam has sent out general guidelines in the light of which
the details of specific issues may be worked out. We do not need to quote
the evidence in detail for each matter. The general principle set out in
this verse may cover many of the specific issues, including the situation
under discussion here. In the answers to questions no. 1497, 1121, and 6543
you will find a detailed description of the guidelines concerning
conversations between men and women; there is no need to repeat them here. 

The basic principle with regard to teaching the rulings of
Islam is that the man should be the teacher, because Allaah has given him
leadership [?] to act as imam and to issue fatwas and pass judgements, etc.
Hence there is nothing wrong with women asking men about the rulings of
Islam, as the women used to ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) about religious matters, especially if the
woman who is asking is new in Islam and needs to learn rulings that will
make sure her ‘aqeedah (belief) is correct and will increase her conviction
and belief in this religion. When a man teaches a woman, that must be done
in accordance with the Islamic guidelines referred to. 

It should be noted by our brothers who are conveying the
message of Islam to that country – especially the young men among them –
that the one who knows himself to be weak and fears that he may fall into
the traps of the Shaytaan, namely becoming attracted to the women and being
distracted from da’wah, should avoid being in direct contact with women when
making da’wah, so long as there are others who are more able to do this
task. If there is a need to speak to them, then he should do as little as
possible. As for one who thinks that he can be steadfast and is sure of
himself, the basic principle is that it is permissible for him to speak to
women, but that is subject to conditions, as follows: 

1.    
Avoiding talking a great deal
about matters other than the topic under discussion, or other than calling
people to Islam.

2.    
Not joking or making the voice
soft, etc.

3.    
Not asking about personal
matters which have nothing to do with the topic, such as asking the woman’s
age etc.

4.    
If some female daa’iyahs or
women who are already Muslim can answer the questions, or if they can be
answered through other media such as audiotapes or computer programs, that
is better. It is also better if a number of trustworthy people can take on
the task of teaching this new Muslim lady as this will make it less likely
that a relationship or attachment will develop and she will become more
attached to the religion than to the particular person who guided her to the
religion.

5.    
Stopping talking to her
immediately if there are any stirrings of attachment or desire in the heart;
remembering that Allaah is always watching, because this is a hidden matter
which is known to no one except the daa’iyah himself. 

With regard to the new Muslim sister, he should explain to
her the general evidence that sets out the guidelines for this relationship
and the great wisdom behind it. The daa’iyah should be keen to guide her to
focus her attachment on Allaah because that will be more effective in making
her steadfast and keeping her away from forming an attachment to the men who
have called her to Islam. If she does anything that is forbidden in
sharee’ah in this regard, such as making her voice soft and so on, he should
speak kindly to her so that Islam will become firmly rooted in her heart and
she will develop a love for Islam. 

We ask Allaah to help us to convey the light and message of Islam and to follow His laws and the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in all our affairs.