I was searching this site regarding permissibility of women visiting a graveyard. As per fatwa no 127 and 8198, it is not permissible for a women to visit graveyards. I told my mother and sister about this and in response, they sent me snaps from a book called “Mukhtasar Sahi Bukhari” Vol 1 by Darrussalam (Mukhtasar means concise). The snaps showed a hadith (on page 428) number 16 which talks about a woman who was crying over a grave in a cemetry and our Prophet was passing by. He said to the women to fear Allah and have patience. She responded rudly as she did not recognize him. Later when she was told, she went to the prophet and appologized. He replied that patience in the key in times of grief.
(The book concludes from this hadith that visiting the graveyard is permissible for women if 1) she does not visit frequently or in groups 2) does not act against the saying of our Prophet i.e. show patience, etc)

I am confused as this hadith contradicts from the one provided in fatwa 127 and 8198. I believe that at early stages of islam, women were not allowed becuase of their prior belief (grave worshipping) and later they were allowed when islam became stronger (Just like people of Musa, when he left his people with his brother and went to the top of mountain, started worshipping a goat/sheep due to their old worshipping habits)

Praise
be to Allah

The correct scholarly view is that it is haraam for women to
visit graves, because Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed women who visit graves and those who
set up places of worship and lamps over them. Narrated and classed as hasan
by at-Tirmidhi (320). 

Visiting graves was initially prohibited to both men and
women, because the Muslims were new in Islam and had only recently given up
worshipping the dead and feeling an attachment to them. Therefore they were
forbidden to visit graves, so as to block the means that may lead to
misguidance and to put an end to any ideas of shirk. But once Islam had
become firmly rooted in their hearts, the Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined visiting graves because of the
admonition and reminder involved in doing so, as it is a reminder of death
and the hereafter. 

See the answers to questions no. 8198,
147407 and 210114. 

The scholars differed concerning the command to visit the
graves after doing so had been prohibited: does this includes both men and
women, or is it for men only? 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and his student Ibn al-Qayyim
(may Allah have mercy on them both) favoured the view that this command
applies only to men, and that women remain subject to the initial
prohibition; the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
affirmed the prohibition on visiting graves with regard to women in
particular, and he cursed those women who do that. 

Other scholars are of the view that the command to visit
graves was general in meaning and included both men and women, then the
Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) reiterated the
prohibition to women after that. 

See: Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa li Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah
(24/343-345)

According to both views, the hadith mentioned in the question
does not indicate that it is permissible for women to visit graves. 

With regard to the second view, that is because the hadith
does not indicate that this came after the prohibition on women visiting
graves.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Do
the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him, “Fear
Allah and be patient,” to the woman whom he saw weeping over a grave,
indicate that it is permissible for women to visit graves?

He replied: 

This may have occurred during the time when the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had given general permission to
both men and women to visit graves, because the hadiths which speak of the
prohibition on women visiting graves was definitive and abrogated whatever
came before it. End quote. 


Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz
(13/331) 

According to the first view, which is that women remain
subject to the prohibition and have not been granted a concession allowing
them to visit graves, there is nothing in the hadith to indicate that it is
permissible for women to visit graves. Rather the hadith indicates that they
are forbidden to do so, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said to that woman: Fear Allah and be patient. This indicates that what
she did was contrary to fearing Allah and was contrary to patience. 

Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

With regard to the hadith of Anas in al-Bukhaari: The Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) passed by a woman who was weeping
over the grave of a child of hers, and he said: Fear Allah and be patient…
This also offers proof for the prohibition (on women visiting graves),
because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not
approve of what she was doing; rather he instructed her to fear Allah, which
means doing what Allah has enjoined and refraining from what He has
forbidden, including the prohibition on women visiting graves. He said to
her: Be patient, and it is well-known that her coming to the grave and
weeping over it is contrary to patience. Because she refused to accept this
from him, as she did not recognise him, he left her alone. When she found
out that it was the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who
had told her to do that, she came to him and apologised to him for going
against his commands. 

What evidence is there in this hadith to prove that it is
permissible for women to visit graves? 

Moreover, it is not known that this case occurred after he
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had cursed women who visit
graves.

We say: even if it indicates that it is permissible for women
to visit graves, there is no indication that it came later than the hadiths
which prohibit them to visit graves; or it indicates that it is prohibited
for them to do so, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) instructed that woman to fear Allah, so it does not indicate that it is
permissible for women to visit graves. According to either interpretation of
the hadith, this incident does not contradict the hadiths which say that it
is forbidden for women to visit graves, and it cannot be claimed that those
hadiths were abrogated by this report. And Allah knows best. End quote. 


Ziyaarat an-Nisa’ li’l-Quboor,
in al-Ajza’ al-Hadeethiyyah (p. 126) 

Some scholars responded by noting that this woman did not go
out to the grave in order to visit it; rather she went out because of the
magnitude of the calamity that had befallen her, and the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) was aware of this situation, so he
admonished her with regard to the reason for which she had gone out, and he
instructed her to be patient, but he did not forbid her to visit the grave,
because that was not her intention in the first place, and she had not gone
out for that reason. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

This woman had definitely not gone out for the purpose of
visiting the grave, but she had been stricken by a calamity, and because of
the magnitude of the calamity that had befallen her, she was not able to
control herself and remain in her house; therefore she went out and started
to weep over the grave, which indicates that her heart was filled with
immense and unbearable grief, to the point that she went to her son’s grave
and began to weep over it. Therefore the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) instructed her to be patient, because he was aware that
she had not gone out for the purpose of visiting the grave, rather she had
gone out because of the emotions in her heart and because she could not bear
this great calamity. So the hadith does not clearly indicate that she went
out to visit the grave, and as it does not clearly indicate that, something
clear cannot be contradicted by something that is not clear. End quote. 


Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il
(9/429) 

In most cases women are not able to control their feelings,
so if a woman is afflicted with the loss of someone who is dear to her, and
she goes out to visit his grave, that may lead to her falling into some
prohibited actions such as wailing, panicking and the like. 

And Allah knows best.