How can the Muslim rid himself of a bad attitude and acquire a good attitude?

Praise
be to Allah

Firstly:

A good attitude is something that will weigh most heavily in
the balance of deeds on the Day of Resurrection, and the best of people in
attitude will be seated closest to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) on the Day of Resurrection.

It was narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2018) – who classed it as
hasan – from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: “Among the dearest of you to me and those who will
be seated closest to me on the Day of Resurrection are those of you who are
best in attitude.”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.

Al-Bukhaari (6035) and Muslim (2321) narrated from ‘Abdullah
ibn ‘Amr from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) that he said: “The best of you are the best of you in attitude.”

An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

This is encouragement to have a good attitude, and it
highlights the virtue of such a person, for this is the character of the
Prophets of Allah, may He be exalted, and His close friends (awliya’).

Al-Hasan al-Basri said:

The definition of a good attitude is doing acts of kindness,
refraining from causing harm, and having a cheerful countenance.

Al-Qaadi ‘Iyaad said: It means mixing with people with a kind
and cheerful attitude, and being friendly and compassionate towards them,
putting up with them, showing forbearance and patience towards them at times
of hardship, refraining from being arrogant towards them or mistreating
them, and avoiding being harsh and angry with them or being critical towards
them.

Secondly:

Defiance and disobedience towards parents is a major sin, and
the one who is defiantly disobedient towards his parents will not prosper in
this world or in the hereafter.

What the Muslim, man or woman, must do is treat his parents
very kindly and strive to treat them well in every way possible, and to
avoid angering them or going against their wishes and defiantly disobeying
them.

See questions no. 35533 and
104768.

Thirdly:

It is possible to improve one’s attitude and refine it, by
doing the following:

·       

Knowing the virtues of having a good attitude and the reward
that will result from it in this world and the hereafter.

·       

Knowing the bad consequences of having a bad attitude, and
what will result from it of requital and negative consequences.

·       

Studying the biographies of the earlier generations (salaf)
and the lives of the righteous.

·       

Avoiding getting angry, striving to attain patience, and
training oneself to be deliberate and not hasty.

·       

Sitting with people of good attitude, and avoiding sitting
with people of bad attitude.

·       

Training oneself to develop a good attitude and trying to
make oneself become accustomed to that (“fake it until you make it”), and
being patient when striving to do that.

Finally: you should call upon Allah, may He be exalted, and
ask Him to make your attitude good and help you to attain that. One of the
supplications of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was:
“O Allah, You have made my outward appearance good, so make my attitude
good.” Narrated by Ahmad (24392); classed as saheeh by the commentators on
al-Musnad. Also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘
(1307).

If a Muslim slips and behaves badly in some situation, he
should hasten to apologise and set things straight, and he should resolve to
improve his attitude.

When the Muslim strives to improve his attitude, doing that
in obedience to the command of Allah, may He be exalted, seeking His
pleasure and following the example of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him), this is like any other act of worship (that is,
he should be sincere in his intention and so on). So he should not try to
improve his attitude in order that people might praise him, because this
will cancel out the reward and he will be deserving of punishment for that
showing off.

Just as the Muslim should strive to make all his worship
sincerely for Allah alone, so too he should strive to do the same when
trying to improve his attitude. He should always bear in mind the command of
Allah, the reckoning, the balance, and paradise and hell, and he should
remember that people will never benefit him or harm him at all. Remembering
the hereafter is one of the most important means that will help the Muslim
to be sincere to Allah, may He be exalted.

Fourthly:

Things that will help one to treat parents kindly include the
following:

·       

Knowing the rights and virtues of parents, and how they
brought up their children and put up with hardship in order to give their
children a life of ease and joy.

·       

Knowing the Islamic texts that encourage showing kindness to
parents, and the texts that warn against defiantly disobeying them, and
understanding the effect that that may have and the punishment for it in
this world and the hereafter.

·       

Knowing that showing kindness to parents is one of the
greatest means of ensuring that the one who shows kindness to his parents
will have children who will show kindness to him, and that defiantly
disobeying parents is one of the greatest means of ensuring that the one who
defiantly disobeys his parents will have children who will be defiantly
disobedient towards him.

·       

Studying the biographies of the earlier generations (the
salaf) and learning how they used to honour their fathers and mothers.

·       

Reading books and essays that speak about showing kindness to
parents or defiantly disobeying them, and also listening to Islamic lessons
that speak about these topics.

·       

Gifts, kind words, a cheerful countenance, offering a great
deal of supplication and speaking well are all among the greatest means that
help one to show kindness to parents.

For more information, please see the answer to question no.
101023.

And Allah knows best.