Detailed discussion about the hadith “Tell him to bite his father’s male member” and refutation of those who say that this is gratuitously obscene speech

Praise
be to Allah.

Firstly: 

The Muslim should not pay any attention to
the slander against our Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him). His Lord, may He be exalted, praised him for his sublime
character and said (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
verily, you (O Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) are on
an exalted standard of character”
[al-Qalam 68:4]. If this
is how the Lord of heaven and earth praised him (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him), then any slander or criticism of him is of no value. We
do not follow a Prophet of whose devotion to Allah and character we know
nothing; rather we know the most precise details of his life. His status was
high even before his mission began, and even the ignorant testified to his
perfect manners and attitude, and they could not find any reason to
criticise him. What is strange is that an atheist comes along and says the
worst things about the Lord of the worlds and denies his existence, and he
criticises the character of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) and accuses him of obscene and false speech, yet he turns a blind
eye to his perfect character and forgets his sublime biography and his
teachings. Such a one is most deserving of the words of the poet:

Assume that I said that this morning is
night; could all people be blind to the light? 

Secondly: 

Our Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) was more shy than a virgin in her seclusion, even
after he was sent with the greatest message for mankind, in which there are
rulings covering the tiniest details of people’s lives. But with regard to
those issues that have to do with the ‘awrah (private parts), we find that
he was very restrained in his speech, and he used the most eloquent phrases
and avoided crude words; he would convey the desired message by choosing
appropriate words from the rich Arabic language. This applied to many
issues, such as relieving oneself, bathing (full ablution), marital issues,
and so on. He used various words so that a man could use these phrases
without causing embarrassment in front of women. Perhaps one example is
sufficient to confirm what is mentioned above, otherwise there are many such
examples. It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that a woman asked the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about ghusl (full ablution)
following menses, and he told her how to do ghusl. “Take a piece of cloth
scented with musk and purify yourself with it.” She said: How should I
purify myself? He said: “Purify yourself with it.” She said: How? He said:
“Subhaan-Allah! Purify yourself.” I pulled her towards me and said: Follow
the traces of blood with it. 

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (308) and Muslim
(332). 

What is meant by a piece of cloth perfumed
with musk is a piece of wool or cotton on which is that well-known kind of
perfume. 

According to a report narrated by al-Bukhaari
(309): 

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that a
woman of the Ansaar said to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him): How should I do ghusl following menses? He said: “Take a piece of
cloth scented with musk and purify yourself with it three times.” Then the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) felt shy, so he turned
his face away, or he said: “Purify yourself with it.” I took her aside and
told her what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) meant. 

Thirdly: 

With regard to the response to the hadith
mentioned in the question, we should point out two things before answering
in detail: 

1.

This wording mentioned in the hadith was
not used by the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) during
his lifetime, and he did not initiate the discussion of this topic; rather
he was stating the punishment for the one who boasted in an ignorant manner
of his tribal lineage. In other words it was prescribed as a response to the
one who committed a forbidden action, namely the tribalism of the
Jaahiliyyah (pre-Islamic period of ignorance).

2.

Whatever penalties and punishments are
prescribed in the laws of Allah, may He be exalted, the purpose thereof is
to prevent sins that could spoil people’s lives. Whoever thinks that cutting
off the hand (of the thief) is an extreme punishment should understand that
by means of it his wealth is protected from thieves. Whoever regards as
harsh the stoning of the previously-married adulterer should understand that
by means of it he will be safe from immoral people transgressing against his
honour. And the same applies to all the other punishments and penalties. The
same may be said about the prescribed punishment for ignorant tribalism and
boasting of one’s tribe and forefathers. It is prescribed for the phrase in
question to be said to one who raises the banner of ignorant tribalism, in
order to put an end to it, and to stop people saying such things. We should
look at how effective these punishments and deterrents are in purifying
people’s words, deeds and attitudes. This is what matters for one who is
wise and strives to rid society of evil and evildoers. 

Fourthly: 

With regard to the detailed response
concerning the hadith mentioned in the question, we will quote a few
versions of the hadith, then follow that with the comments of the scholars
on the matter.

It was narrated from Ubayy ibn Ka‘b that a
man boasted in an ignorant manner of his tribal lineage, so he told him to
bite his father’s male member, and he did not use a metaphor. The people
looked askance at him, so he said to the people: I can see what you are
thinking, and I can only say this: that the Messenger of Allah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed us: “If you hear someone boasting
in an ignorant manner of his tribal lineage, then tell him to bite his
father’s male member, and do not use a metaphor.”

Narrated by Ahmad (35/157); classed as
hasan by the commentators on al-Musnad. 

It was narrated from Ubayy (may Allah be
pleased with him) that a man boasted of his tribal lineage, and Ubayy told
him to bite his father’s male member, and they said: You were never given to
obscene speech! He said: We were instructed to do that.

Narrated by Ahmad (35/142); classed as
hasan by the commentators on al-Musnad and as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Jaami‘. 

Abu Ja‘far at-Tahhaawi (may Allah have
mercy on him) said: 

in this hadith, the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave those instructions
concerning the one who is heard boasting in that ignorant manner. Someone
said: How could you accept this report from the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) when you narrate from him the
words, “Shyness is part of faith and faith leads to Paradise, and foul
speech is part of harshness, and harshness is of the Fire”? 

He said:

In this hadith it states that foul speech
is in the Fire, and what is meant by foul speech being in the Fire is that
the people of foul speech will be in the Fire, because foul speech is not an
entity that exists by itself; rather what is meant by mentioning it is those
who have that characteristic. 

Our response concerning that – with the
help of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted – is as follows: 

The foul speech referred to in this hadith
is something other than the foul speech referred to in the first hadith. It
is foul speech that is addressed to one who does not deserve to be spoken to
in that manner. The one who speaks in a foul manner to one who does not
deserve that is subject to the warning in the hadith mentioned. As for that
which is mentioned in the first hadith, it is a punishment to the one who
promoted ignorant attitudes, because he is promoting pride in a man who is
one of the people of Hell. It is like when they used to call their tribes
with a sense of pride in being the descendants of Bakr, Tameem, Hamdaan, and
so on (ancestors of Arab tribes). Whoever shows pride in these people of
Jaahiliyyah, who are among the inhabitants of Hell, deserves to be punished,
and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) ordained that his
punishment should be that he is responded to as mentioned in the second
hadith, so as to insult him and the one in whom he seeks pride, so that
people would stop doing that in the future and not go back to it. 

This hadith was also narrated without this
particular wording:

It was narrated that ‘Utayy ibn Damurah
said: One day I saw him – i.e., Ubayy ibn Ka‘b – when a man was boasting in
an ignorant manner of his tribal lineage, and he told him to bite that part
of his father, and he did not use a metaphor. It was as if the people found
that odd, so he said: Do not blame me, for the Prophet of Allah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “Whoever you see boasting in an
ignorant manner of his tribal lineage, then tell him to bite that, and do
not use a metaphor.” 

The meaning is the same as the hadith
quoted above, because what is meant by “one who is boasting in an ignorant
manner of his tribal lineage” is that he is attributing himself to the
people of Jaahiliyyah. 

Bayaan Mushkil al-Athaar
(8/51-54) 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah
have mercy on him) said: 

Hence some of the scholars said that this
indicates that it is permissible to bluntly state the name of the private
part if there is a need to do so or there is an interest to be served
thereby, and this does not come under the heading of obscene speech that is
forbidden, as in the hadith of Ubayy ibn Ka‘b, according to which the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:

“If you hear someone boasting in an
ignorant manner of his tribal lineage, then tell him to bite his father’s
male member, and do not use a metaphor.” Narrated by Ahmad. And Ubayy ibn
Ka‘b heard a man saying: O So and so, and he said: Bite your father’s penis.
Something was said to him about that, and he said: This is what the
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed us
to do (in the case of such a person).

Minhaaj as-Sunnah an-Nabawiyyah
(8/408, 409) 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on
him) said, commenting on the hadith of Abu Dawood: A man sneezed in the
presence of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said:
As-salaamu ‘alaykum (peace be upon you). The Messenger of Allah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “And upon you be peace and upon your
mother.” 

Mentioning the mother here is similar to
mentioning the penis of the father in the case of one who boasts in an
ignorant manner of his tribal lineage. It may be said to him: Bite your
father’s penis, and mentioning the father’s penis here is more effective in
admonishing and rebuking the one who boasts in an ignorant manner of his
tribal lineage, because it is reminding him of the part of his father from
which he emerged, namely his father’s penis, so he should not go beyond the
bounds in pride and arrogance. Similarly, in the other example, mentioning
the mother is more effective in rebuking him, by suggesting that he is still
as illiterate or ignorant as the day on which his mother bore him [this is a
play on words in Arabic, as the word ummiyyah (illiteracy) is similar
to the word umm (mother)]. And Allah knows best what the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) meant. 

Zaad al-Ma‘aad fi Hadiy Khayr al-‘Ibaad
(2/438) 

Fifthly: 

The senior Sahaabah acted on this advice
and regarded it as a punishment to be carried out on whoever deserved it,
and they did not regard it as rude in any way. We have mentioned above the
words of Ubayy ibn Ka‘b, who narrated the hadith on this topic. This was
also said by Abu Bakr as-Siddeeq (may Allah be pleased with him), when
‘Urwah ibn Mas‘ood, who came as a negotiator on behalf of the mushrikeen at
al-Hudaybiyah, said to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him): By Allah I see faces, and I see a mixture of people who are most
likely going to flee and desert you. Abu Bakr said to him: Suck the clitoris
of al-Laat! Would we flee and desert him? He said: Who is that? They said:
Abu Bakr. 

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2581) 

Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him)
said: 

The clitoris is the piece of flesh that
remains in the woman’s vulva after circumcision (removal of the prepuce of
the clitoris). Al-Laat is the name of one of the idols that Quraysh and
Thaqeef used to worship. It was the custom of the Arabs to revile one
another in this manner, but by mentioning the mother, so Abu Bakr wanted to
go further in reviling ‘Urwah by referring to his object of worship instead
of his mother. What made him do that was his anger towards him when he
accused the Muslims of being cowards and saying that they would flee. This
also indicates that it is permissible to say words that are regarded as foul
or bad for the purpose of rebuking one who behaves in a manner that leads to
him deserving that. Ibn al-Munayyir said: In the words of Abu Bakr we see an
insult to the enemy, rejection of their beliefs, and highlighting the flaws
in their belief when they said that al-Laat was the daughter of Allah –
exalted be Allah far above that – by suggesting that if she was a daughter
that she would have what every female has. 

Fath al-Baari
(5/340) 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on
him) said: 

The words of Abu Bakr as-Siddeeq to ‘Urwah
– “Suck the clitoris of al-Laat – indicate that it is permissible to name of
the private part bluntly, if that will serve the purpose, according to the
situation, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave
permission to mention the father’s male member bluntly to the one who
boasted in an ignorant manner of his tribal lineage, to whom it may be said:
“Bite your father’s penis”, without using a metaphor. Every situation is to
be dealt in the manner that is appropriate to it. 

Zaad al-Ma aad fi Hadiy Khayr al-‘Ibaad
(3/305) 

And Allah knows best.