Did the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) ever hit his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her)?

The hadeeth
mentioned in the question is that which was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may
Allah be pleased with her), who said:

When it was my
night when the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
was with me, he came in and took off his cloak, took off his shoes and put
them by his feet, spread the edge of his waist wrapper on his bed and lay
down. He waited until he thought that I had gone to sleep, then he picked up
his cloak slowly, put on his shoes slowly, opened the door slowly, and went
out, then he closed it slowly. I put my chemise over my head and veiled
myself, and wrapped my waist wrapper around me, then I set out following
him, until he reached al-Baqee‘ where he stood for a long time, then he
raised his hands three times. Then he set off, so I set off, then he
hastened, so I hastened, then he jogged, so I jogged, then he ran so I ran,
then I reached home before him and went in. No sooner had I laid down but he
came in and said: “What is the matter, O ‘Aa’ishah? Why are you out of
breath?” I said: It is nothing. He said: “Either you tell me or the Subtle
One, the All-Aware will tell me.” I said: O Messenger of Allah, may my
father and mother be sacrificed for you! And I told him. He said: “So you
were the person that I saw in front of me?” I said: Yes. He gave me a
painful shove on the chest, then he said: “Did you think that Allah and His
Messenger would be unjust to you?” She said: Whatever the people conceal,
Allah knows it; yes. He said: “Jibreel came to me when you saw. He called me
but he concealed it from you, and I answered him but I concealed it from
you. He would not enter upon you when you were not fully dressed. I thought
that you had gone to sleep and I did not want to wake you up, and I was
afraid that you might be frightened. He said: “Your Lord is commanding you
to go to the people of al-Baqee’ and pray for forgiveness for them.” I
said:  What should I say to them, O Messenger of Allah? He said: “Say: Peace
be upon the people of these abodes, believers and Muslims. May Allah have
mercy on those of us who have gone on before and those who come later, and
we will – if Allah wills – join you soon.”

Narrated by
Muslim, 974 

The issue
mentioned in the question may be explained from several angles: 

Firstly: 

The words of
‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), “he gave me a painful shove in
the chest” indicate that what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) did was merely a shove, i.e., he pushed her or poked her in the
chest; this does not reach the level of real hitting that is intended to
cause pain and to humiliate. In fact it is stated in Lisaan al-‘Arab
(3/393) that one of the meanings of the word lahd (translated here as shove)
is poke. In Taaj al-‘Aroos (9/145) it says that one of the meanings
of the word lahd is to apply pressure. 

All of these
meanings indicate that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) did not hit her in the sense meant by those who want to cast aspersions
upon him; rather he poked her or pushed her in the chest in such a way that
she felt pain, but it was mild and unintended pain; rather the purpose
behind it was to point out something and teach. 

Secondly: 

If the reader
reflects on this hadeeth he will realise that it is one of the proofs of the
greatness of the Prophet’s attitude. A man may live with his wife for many
years, and she may do many things because of the jealousy that is an
inherent part of women’s character, but he (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) is not known to have ever caused her harm in word or deed, except
for what is mentioned in this hadeeth, despite the large number of narrators
who transmitted all the details of his life (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him). This is indicative of his perfect character (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him). 

As for those
haters who seek to cast aspersions upon him, they wish that they could find
any suggestion that he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) hit his
wife in such a way that it caused pain, or at least that he hit her in a way
that hurt her, by way of rebuking and humiliation. But they failed to do so.
The most that is mentioned in this hadeeth is that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) said: He gave me a painful shove in the chest. The one who
wants to hit and humiliate someone will not limit it to a shove in the
chest; rather he will focus his energies on the sides of the body or the
face, and have a humiliating impact on the mind of the one whom he hits. We
do not see anything of that nature in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her). 

Thirdly: 

This hadeeth is
indicative of the perfect character of the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) and of his compassion and tenderheartedness, because he
did not rebuke or strike or tell off; rather he chided her gently with the
aim of teaching ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) and the ummah
after her. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and His Messenger
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) do not treat anyone unjustly, and
it is not permissible for anyone to think negatively of Allah or His
Messenger. Rather what is required of others is to think positively of Allah
and to accept whatever Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, decrees. That
“shove” was one of the means of teaching and highlighting a matter of great
importance that it is not appropriate to forget or neglect, no matter how
great her jealousy concerning the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) and her love for him. It is not appropriate for it to be thought
that the Prophet of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would
wrong any of his wives for the sake of another, Allah forbid. 

Fourthly: 

Another indication
that this “shove” was not by way of beating and causing pain; rather it was
by way of teaching and pointing out something, is the rest of the
conversation between the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
and ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her). It was a peaceful and
beneficial discussion in which the compassion of the greatest teacher
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was manifested, as he explained
to her the reason why he had gone out of the house at that late hour. He
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had opened the door quietly and
left the house without a sound so as not to disturb her sleep. Such an
explanation could not stem from anger or the aim of causing pain; rather it
came from a compassionate, kind and noble husband who respected his wife and
explained to her, telling her the details of what had happened with him, so
as to share his story with her. Thus he instilled in her heart a sense of
confidence and trust in her honest and sincere husband. 

She said: Whatever
the people conceal, Allah knows it; yes. He said: “Jibreel came to me when
you saw. He called me but he concealed it from you, and I answered him but I
concealed it from you. He would not enter upon you when you were not fully
dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep and I did not want to wake you
up, and I was afraid that you might be frightened. He said: “Your Lord is
commanding you to go to the people of al-Baqee’ and pray for forgiveness for
them.” I said:  What should I say to them, O Messenger of Allah? He said:
“Say: Peace be upon the people of these abodes, believers and Muslims. May
Allah have mercy on those of us who have gone on before and those who come
later, and we will – if Allah wills – join you soon.” 

Let the one who
honestly and sincerely seeks the truth reflect on the story of a husband to
whom an important matter came when he was sleeping in his wife’s bed at
night. He wanted to go out and leave her, but he did not want to wake her up
or disturb her sleep; he also did not want her to wake up and feel lonely,
anxious and afraid that she had suddenly lost her husband who had been by
her side. 

Fifthly: 

If we were to
quote all the hadeeths that highlight the forbearance of the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) with his wives, it would take a
long time. He was forbearing and compassionate in situations where an
ordinary husband might lose his cool. But the one who had this great
character (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was patient and
forbearing; indeed he refrained from doing anything that could upset his
wife. 

Another example of
that is seen in the report narrated by Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased
with her), which says that she brought some food in a dish of hers to the
Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon her) and his
companions, then ‘Aa’ishah came, wrapped up in a garment, with a stone
pestle and broke the dish. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said: “Eat; your mother got
jealous,” twice. Then the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) took the dish of ‘Aa’ishah and sent it to Umm Salamah and he
gave the dish of Umm Salamah to ‘Aa’ishah 

Narrated by
an-Nasaa’i in as-Sunan, 3956; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh an-Nasaa’i 

It was narrated
that Nu‘maan ibn Basheer (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

Abu Bakr came and
asked permission to enter upon the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him), and he heard ‘Aa’ishah raising her voice to the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). He gave him permission to
enter, so he entered and said: O daughter of Umm Roomaan! – and he grabbed
her – do you raise your voice to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him)? The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) separated them, and when Abu Bakr left, the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) started saying to her, to make her feel happy:
“Do you not see how I intervened between the man and you?”

He said: Then Abu
Bakr came and asked for permission to enter upon him, and he found him
laughing with her. Permission was given to him, and he entered, and Abu Bakr
said to him: O Messenger of Allah, make me a partner in your peace as you
made me a partner in your war.

 Narrated by Ahmad
in al-Musnad, 30/341-342. The commentators said: Its isnaad is saheeh
according to the conditions of Muslim. 

So let those
haters reflect on how great the compassion of the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) was towards his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her), and how much he loved her, even in difficult
circumstances in front of his guests before whom she broke the dish of food,
and he looked for an excuse for her, saying: “your mother got jealous.” 

Isn’t jealousy the
same factor that motivated ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) to go
out following the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that
night, when she thought that he had gone out to see one of his other wives,
but that did not cause him (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to
rebuke her by hitting her in a way so as to cause pain, as happens with many
husbands. 

Sixthly: 

If this “shove”
had been hitting in a real and violent sense, ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) would have wept like young women do, and she would have
expressed her pain and objection to the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him). But she did not do that; rather she continued the
conversation with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and
showed politeness by asking about the dhikr that is recommended when
visiting graves. This indicates that the “shove” was no more than a gesture
aimed at alerting and teaching, and that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased
with her) did not feel the slightest sense of hurt or offence that these
haters are looking for to use against our noble Prophet (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him). 

Seventhly: 

Moreover we say:
if a husband hits his wife – if it is gentle and not by way of humiliation,
and there is an urgent reason for doing so – this is something permissible
that was permitted by the Holy Qur’an, in which Allah, may He be exalted,
says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to
excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.
Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their
husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard
(e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.). As to those women on
whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to
share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if
they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).
Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[an-Nisa’ 4:34]. 

‘Aa’ishah (may
Allah be pleased with her) made a mistake by going out of her house without
the permission of her husband (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him),
but the reason why she did it was that she wanted to catch up with him, as
she felt happy being close to him. But – whatever the case – it was a
mistake. Nevertheless, the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) did not use the means of striking lightly that is permitted by
the Holy Qur’an, although if he had done that there would have been nothing
wrong with it. It would have been within his rights to punish for such a
mistake, as the Prophet of Allah Moosa (peace be upon him) took hold of his
brother’s head and pulled him towards him. Rather our noble Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used “poking” the chest
accompanied by a reminder to fear Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.
This is an example of his perfect character and attitude (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him). 

And Allah knows
best.