Does chatting between the sexes on social media sites come under the heading of khulwah that is forbidden?
Praise
be to Allah
Firstly:
It was narrated
from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that he heard the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “No man should be alone with
a woman unless there is a mahram present.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5233)
and Muslim (1341).
What is meant
by khulwah in this hadith is physically being alone together.
The reason for
this prohibition is that it is thought that this khulwah will lead to
falling into what is prohibited (haraam), because it enables the Shaytaan to
instill such temptation. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) referred to that when he said: “Indeed, no man is alone
with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi
(2165); he said: This is a hasan saheeh ghareeb hadith with this isnad. al-Haakim
said in al-Mustadrak (1/114): It is saheeh according to the
conditions of the two shaykhs [al-Bukhaari and Muslim], and adh-Dhahabi
agreed with him. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel
(6/215).
Al-Minnaawi (may
Allah have mercy on him) said:
“but the
Shaytaan is the third one present” by means of his waswasah (whispers),
stirring up of desire, dispelling of modesty, and encouragement to commit
sin, until he tempts them to commit the act of intercourse or that which is
less than it of precursors that will soon lead to it. This hadith proves
that it (khulwah) is haraam.
End quote from
Fayd al-Qadeer (3/78).
The prohibition
on being alone with a non-mahram woman comes under the heading of barring
ways that lead to shameful deeds. This is one of the fundamental principles
of our religious teaching.
Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The basic
principle is that anything that is a means that leads to fitnah (temptation)
is not permissible, because the means that lead to mischief must be barred,
if that is not outweighed by a greater interest.
End quote from
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (15/419).
If a man talks
to a non-mahram woman in a private chat on social media websites – even if
it does not come under the heading of the khulwah discussed by the fuqaha’ –
this is still a means that leads to fitnah (temptation) and mischief, so it
is disallowed for that reason.
If looking,
shaking hands and the like are forbidden, so as to block the means of being
tempted by the woman, even if there is no khulwah, then disallowing private
conversation, especially among young people and those who are thought most
likely to be vulnerable to temptation, also comes under that heading.
There are many
religious texts which forbid seeking enjoyment in talking to a non-mahram
woman and finding pleasure in listening to her voice and looking at her;
this is regarded as a type of zina.
It was narrated
from Abu Hurayrah, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him), that “Allah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina, which
he will inevitably get. The zina of the eyes is looking and the zina of the
tongue is speaking. The heart wishes and hopes, and the private part
confirms that or denies it.”
Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (6243), Muslim (2657). Ahmad (27430) added:
“And the zina of
the ears is listening.”
With some
people, the matter may go as far as the Shaytaan tempting them to the extent
that they take off their clothes for one another (exchanging nude photos
etc).
Undoubtedly the
Shaytaan has many traps into which people fall, such as mischief, desires
and temptations. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “I have not left behind me among the people any fitnah (trial) that is
more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5096) and Muslim
(2741).
Allah, may He be
glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O
children of Adam, let not Satan tempt you as he removed your parents from
Paradise, stripping them of their clothing to show them their private parts.
Indeed, he sees you, he and his tribe, from where you do not see them.
Indeed, We have made the devils allies to those who do not believe”
[al-A‘raaf 7:27].
Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
So Allah has
forbidden the children of Adam to be tempted by the temptation of the
Shaytaan, as their parents were tempted, by disobeying Allah and obeying the
Shaytaan in going against the commands and prohibitions of Allah.
He stripped the
parents of their clothing, and in like manner he may strip their offspring
of the garment of piety (taqwa) and their physical garments, so that they
show their private parts.
End quote from
al-Istiqaamah (2/170).
To sum up, for a
man to chat with a non-mahram woman on social media websites, in a chat room
away from other visitors and subscribers, does not come under the heading of
the khulwah that is forbidden,
But it is
disallowed because of what it involves of temptation and the likelihood of
mischief.
So Muslim men
and women should avoid such contact, unless it is for a greater religious
purpose, such as asking questions of scholars, or it is for a legitimate
worldly purpose, in which case the conversation should be only as much as is
needed, without unnecessary chitchat and going off topic.
And Allah knows
best.
