As Salaam Alaikum
I have a serious problem. I have been muslim for a couple of years. I
have a major problem controling my sexually urges. Before I was muslim I had no sex
whatsoever and was a virgin. But recently I have been doing some haraam things. On 3
occasions I have payed for oral sex from prostitutes. This is all I have done. My penis
has never been in a women’s vagina. Is this zinnah? Am i still a virgin? Am I still
muslim? What can I do to stop? Please help me!
jazaakum Allahu khirun
Praise be to Allaah.
There is no doubt that what you have done is a kind of zinaa (unlawful
sexual activity), although it is not the worst kind, so you must repent sincerely to
Allaah, give up this sin, regret what has happened and be determined never to go back to
it. Avoid bad friends and bad places, lower your gaze and keep your distance from women to
whom you are not related (non-mahram). If you repent to Allaah, He will accept your
repentance. You are still a Muslim, but you have committed an act of disobedience towards
Allaah by doing this sinful act, so come back to your Lord and seek His forgiveness for
what you have done. Do more good deeds to expiate for and cancel out your bad deeds, do
those things that will help you to remain chaste, and hasten to marry according to Islam.
Finally, we will leave you with a story from which you may learn a valuable lesson:
Ibn Masood reported that a man came to the Prophet
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him that he had kissed or touched a woman, or
something similar, as if he was asking how he could expiate for this (according to another
report: a man had done something with a woman that fell short of actual intercourse. He
came to Umar ibn al-Khattaab, who regarded it as something very serious; then he
came to Abu Bakr, who regarded it as something very serious. Then he came to the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). Then Allaah revealed the aayah
(interpretation of the meaning): And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day
and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small
sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice). [Hood
11:114]. The man asked, Is this concerning me, O Messenger of Allaah? He
said: It is concerning whoever of my ummah does this. (Reported by
Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, 4963).
According to a report narrated by Abd-Allaah, a man
came to the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, O
Messenger of Allaah, I fondled a woman in the furthest outskirts of Madeenah but I did not
actually have intercourse with her. Here I am, judge me as you wish. Umar said
to him: Allaah had covered you, you should have covered yourself (i.e., you should
not have spoken of it). The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
did not reply at all, so the man got up and left. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) sent a man to follow him, call him and recite to him the aayah
(interpretation of the meaning): And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day
and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small
sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice). [Hood
11:114]. A man who was present said: O Prophet of Allaah, is this just for
him? He said, No, it is for all the people. (Reported by Muslim,
4964).
And Allaah knows best.
