There are some family disputes between my father and my paternal aunt that led to the ties of kinship being severed between us. Is there any sin in that?
Please note that my paternal aunt visits us,for her part.
Praise be to Allah.
Undoubtedly severing the ties of kinship is a major sin. The
many texts of the Quran and Sunnah (prophetic teachings) that enjoin
upholding ties of kinship highlight the great importance of this matter in
our religion. One of the greatest aims of sharee‘ah (Islamic law) is to
bring people together and maintain the ties of brotherhood and kinship among
them.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation
of the meaning):
“Those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined
(i.e. they are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of
kinship), fear their Lord, and dread the terrible reckoning (i.e. abstain
from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which Allah has forbidden and perform
all kinds of good deeds which Allah has ordained).”
[ar-Ra‘d 13:21].
Among the reports of the Prophet’s (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) Sunnah which give a stern warning against severing the
ties of kinship is the following:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said:
“Allah created the universe, and when He had finished,
kinship (al-rahim) stood up and said, ‘This is the standing up of one who
seeks Your protection from being cut off.’ Allah said, ‘Yes, would it please
you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those
who cut you off?’ It said, ‘Of course.’ Allah said, ‘Then your prayer is
granted.’”
Then the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said: “Recite, if you wish: ‘Would you then, if you were given
the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such
are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded
their sight. Do they not then think deeply in the Quran, or are their hearts
locked up (from understanding it)?’ [Muhammad 47:22-24].”
Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5987; Muslim, 2554
If people were to ponder what causes the severing of family
ties amongst them, they would find the cause is disputes about some
materialistic issues which will not avail for anything before Allah on the
Day of Resurrection; or it may be because of what the Shaytan stirs up
amongst them, leading to enmity and resentment amongst them because of
insignificant reasons that are not worth paying any attention to in the
first place.
This happens despite the fact that Islam enjoins upholding
the ties of kinship even if there are considerable reasons for cutting ties,
and it encourages the believers to overlook mistakes and to adopt a
forgiving and tolerant attitude, not to seek out mistakes and nurture
resentment, grudges and envy.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) that a man said: O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try
to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me.
I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me. He (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If you are as you say, then it is as
if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths. Allah will continue to support
you as long as you continue to do that.”
Narrated by Muslim, 2558
An-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim (16/115):
Ignorance here refers to bad speech. What this hadith means
is that it will be like feeding them hot ashes. This is a metaphor for the
pain they will feel, like the pain of one who eats hot ashes. There will be
no sin on this doer of good, rather they will be sinning greatly for cutting
him off and causing him harm.
And it was said that what is meant is that by treating them
kindly you will make them feel ashamed of themselves because of how kindly
you treat them and how badly they have treated you. And Allah knows best.
End quote.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“The upholder of kinship ties is not the one who is kind to
them if they are kind to him, rather the upholder of kinship ties is the one
who, if his relatives cut him off, he upholds the ties of kinship with
them.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5991.
This is the conduct and attitude enjoined by Islam. No one
should hesitate to denounce the one who cuts off ties with his sister or his
mother. It is not permissible for you to go along with your father in
cutting off ties with his sister; rather you have to uphold ties with her
and treat her kindly, and try to reconcile between her and your father,
doing all that you can to achieve this.
Please see also the answers to questions no.
4631,
7571 and
And Allah knows best.
