I was sexually involved with a girl who was from my relatives but far relatives. Her ammi asked her to leave me because near her i was misbehaving person. I misbehaved her then i felt regret and asked for her sorry i asked for her sorry i beg her to forgive me and i hold her legs and asked for her forgiveness, she said she has forgiven me but she said she will not marry her daughter with me.
Her daughter was with me since 5 years and we have committed zina uncountable times for which we both regret and ask for forgiveness from ALLAH.
the girl was sincere with me and i was sincere with her, she said we will both marry cause we have done zina. then after i misbehave with her ammi even i asked for her ammis forgivesness by sitting down in her legs and holding her legs, after which she was with me for almost 1 and half year. Her ammi kept telling her to leave me but she didnt leave me coz she was sincere with me and coz we had committed zina we both wanted to get married with each other, but suddenly she said she cant live with me and she left me. since 1 year i have tried my best to contact her even i gave her some threats (only for reason that she talks with me so i can make her understand that i will not repeat that type of behave in future and will do as she will say) but she didnt contact me and not talking with me after that.
I don’t know if her ammi has emotionally blackmailed her by telling her that she feeling pain in her left arms ( so she thinks her ammi is getting heart problem) or took promise from her that she wont talk with me im not sure but her ammi used to brain wash her by telling other peoples bad stories like someone beat her wife and someone has left her wife and someone gave divorce to her wife etc.she even said she has asked some baba( might be some religious person) that i will leave her after getting married. All i know is that ilm-e-gaib noone can tell.
1. Sir, my question is that what is the solution if we have committed zina shouldn’t we get married? if we get married will it decrease our gunah?
2. if we don’t get married our gunah can be forgiven by allah IF WE BOTH TAKE 100 LASHES? or simply just ask ALLAH for HIS forgivesness without taking 100 lashes?
3. If she wants to get married and her ammi is not letting us then we deserve the same gunah of 100 lashes?
4. If girl has changed her mind from marrying because of her ammi while i ( boy) still wants to get married for the sake of gunah of zina he has committed with this girl. if girl don’t want to get married even she knows that she should get married with a person she has committed zina what will be the degree of gunah for the boy and for the girl?
5. if girl don’t get married because of her ammi, who will be responsible for the gunah that she is committing by not getting married with the same person her ammi or she will?
6. if the girl don’t marry with that same person what will be the degree of the zina’s gunah for the boy even if he wants to get married?
I will be very thankful to you if you will give your precious time in answering my questions .
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
You should understand that you have a problem with regard to
your religious commitment, and that is the greatest of calamities. You
should also understand that the evil act of zina is one of the greatest sins
that Allah forbids to His slaves and has highlighted to them its evil
consequences. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse.
Verily, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a
great sin)), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives
him)”
[al-Isra’ 17:23].
Shaykh as-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The prohibition on coming near to it or approaching it is
more far reaching than the prohibition on merely doing it, because that
includes all the things that lead to it and promote it. The one who grazes
his flock around a sanctuary will soon transgress upon it, especially with
regard to this matter, the inclination towards which is very strong in many
people.
Allah described zina and its abhorrent nature as a “faahishah”
or great sin that is abhorrent according to sharee‘ah, reason and common
sense, because it includes transgressions against the rights of Allah, the
rights of the woman and the rights of her family or husband, destroys
marriages, mixes lineages and leads to other negative consequences.
The words “an evil way” means: how evil is the way of
the one who dares to commit this great sin.
End quote from Tafseer as-Sa‘di, 457
Secondly:
Zina is a independent crime with serious consequences, and
none of that sin can be erased unless you repent sincerely to Allah, may He
be glorified and exalted, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with
Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor
commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the
punishment.
The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of
Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;
Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic
Monotheism), and do righteous deeds, for those, Allah will change their sins
into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds, then
verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance.”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-71].
It is not one of the conditions of sincere repentance that
the zaani should marry the one with whom he committed zina; rather in order
for him to marry the one with whom he committed zina, it is essential for
her (and for him) to repent first, then he may marry her after that if he
wishes.
However, your sin of zina will not be any greater if her
mother refuses to let her marry you nor will it be any greater if you end up
not marrying one another after you both repent to Allah, may He be exalted.
There is no blame on the girl or her family if she refuses to marry the one
who committed zina with her because marriage, even though it may conceal the
immoral actions that took place between you, is not a shar‘i remedy for the
sin and shame of zina. Rather the remedy for that is sincere repentance and
mending your ways – as much as you can – in the future, and doing a lot of
righteous deeds, in the hope that Allah may accept your repentance.
See the answer to question no.
14381 and
11195
Thirdly:
Repentance does not prevent the hadd punishment from being
carried out on the one who repents and it cannot be waived or reduced if
proof is established against him.
It is not one of the conditions of sound repentance that the
hadd punishment be carried out in this world; rather if the sin of the
sinner is found out and the hadd punishment is carried out on him in this
world, that hadd punishment is expiation for him. If Allah conceals him,
then the matter after that is up to Allah.
Al-Bukhaari (17) and Muslim (3223) narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn
as-Saamit (may Allah be pleased with him, who was present at Badr and was
one of the leaders on the night of al-‘Aqabah, that the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, when a group of his
Companions were around him: “Swear allegiance to me on the basis that you
will not associate anything with Allah, you will not steal, you will not
commit zina, you will not kill your children, you will not fabricate lies
against one another, you will not disobey in anything that is right and
proper. Whoever among you fulfils this (oath), his reward will be due from
Allah. Whoever does any of these things and is punished in this world, it
will be expiation for him; whoever does any of these things then Allah
conceals him, then it is up to Allah – if He wills, He will forgive him and
if He wills, He will punish him.” So we swore allegiance to him on that
basis.
Ibn Rajab said:
This clearly shows that carrying out the hudood punishment is
expiation for those on whom it is carried out. That was clearly stated by
Sufyaan ath-Thawri, and was also stated by Ahmad, according to the report
narrated from him by ‘Abdoos ibn Maalik al-‘Attaar. Ash-Shaafa‘i said: I
have never heard concerning the issue that the hadd punishment is expiation
anything better than the hadeeth of ‘Ubaadah.
End quote from Fath al-Baari by Ibn Rajab, 1/72
See also Fath al-Baari by Ibn Hajar, 1/73-74
Fourthly:
If the hadd punishment is expiation and purification for the
one on whom it is carried out, and the sinner was concealed by Allah and was
not discovered, is it better for him to confess his sin to the ruler so that
he may purify him by carrying out the hadd punishment on him, or is it
better for him to conceal himself as Allah concealed him?
Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
One of them, namely Ibn Hazm, quoted as evidence this hadeeth
of ‘Ubaadah to show that if a person commits a sin, it is better for him to
go to the ruler and confess to him so that the hadd punishment may be
carried out on him and he may thus attain expiation and not remain in the
danger zone. This is based on the words, “The one who repents is subject to
the divine will.”
But the correct view is that the one who repents sincerely
will definitely be forgiven. However the believer is worried about his
repentance and cannot be certain that it is valid or has been accepted, so
he still remains worried about his sin.
The majority of scholars are of the view that if a person has
repented from sin, it is better for him to conceal himself and not admit it
to anyone; rather he should repent from it and keep the matter between him
and Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. That was narrated from Abu Bakr,
‘Umar, Ibn Mas‘ood and others.
End quote from Fath al-Baari by Ibn Rajab, 1/75-77
And there is the report which offers great hope to the one
whom Allah conceals in this world. It was narrated by al-Bukhaari (2261) and
Muslim (4972) from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) who
said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) say: “Allaah will bring the believer close and will shelter him with
His screen, then He will say, ‘Do you remember such and such a sin? Do you
remember such and such a sin?’ and he will say, ‘Yes, O Lord,’ until He
makes him confess his sins and he thinks that he is doomed. Then [Allaah]
will say, ‘I concealed it for you in the world and I forgive you for it
today.’ Then he will be given the book of his good deeds (hasanaat). But as
for the kaafir and the hypocrite, the witnesses will say,
‘These are the ones who lied against their Lord!’ No doubt!
the curse of Allaah is upon the zaalimoon (wrongdoers) [cf. Hood 11:18].’”
And Muslim (4671) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah does not conceal a
person in this world but Allah will conceal him on the Day of
Resurrection.”
Let everyone feel shy before his Lord, as He has concealed
him, and not disclose what He has concealed.
Imam ash-Shaafa‘i (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
We prefer for the one who has committed a sin that is
deserving of a hadd punishment to conceal the matter and to fear Allah, may
He be glorified and exalted, and not go back to disobeying Allah, for Allah,
may He be glorified and exalted, accepts the repentance of His slaves.
End quote from al-Umm, 6/149
And Allah knows best.
