I have been married for approximately two years, and I have a daughter from my wife. I wanted some clarification about the conditions that must be fulfilled in order to complete divorce. For example, if the woman does not menstruate, and no intercourse has taken place since her last period, if the conditions are not met, can divorce be valid or not? Also, when a man divorces his wife, is it sufficient for him to say the word “talaaq (divorce)”, or is it essential for him to say: “I am giving you your divorce?” I have some problems with anger, which everyone who knows me is aware of. I am seeing my doctor about the anger. I said divorce [i.e., he said, “divorce” and did not say, for example, “you are divorced”] to my wife when we were arguing, and she was saying disrespectful things to me and asked me to divorce her. I said the word “divorce” when I was very angry, but after I came back to my senses, I regretted it. I did not really intend to divorce my wife. Now my wife thinks that we are divorced. Is it possible to explain the correct Islamic ruling on divorce and when it counts as such? May Allah reward you with good.

Praise
be to Allah

Divorce as
prescribed in Islam means that the man issues one divorce (talaaq) to his
wife during a period of purity in which he has not had intercourse with her,
or when she is pregnant. Such a divorce counts as such, according to
scholarly consensus.

As for issuing a
divorce when the woman is menstruating or during a period of purity in which
he has had intercourse with her, it counts as such according to the majority
of scholars, but does not count as such according to some scholars. Please
see the answers to questions no. 72417 and
106328.

Secondly:

A divorce issued
in a moment of anger is subject to further discussion and is a matter
concerning which the scholars differed. The more correct view is that in the
event of anger, if the speaker does not know what he is saying, or extreme
anger led the husband to issue the divorce, and were it not for the anger he
would not have done so, then it does not count as such. This is in contrast
to ordinary anger that is not severe; in such cases the divorce does count
as such. See the answer to question no. 45174.

Thirdly:

If a man says to
his wife: “You are divorced”; or he says, “She is divorced”; or he says, “I
have divorced you”, or “You are divorced” – all of these are clear
statements of divorce and the divorce counts as such, with no need to
examine his intention.

It is not
stipulated that he should say: “I give you divorce”.

If he says: “Utalliquki
(I divorce you)” (in the present tense), this is open to interpretation,
because the present tense in Arabic may refer to the present or the future.
If he was referring to the present – i.e., I am divorcing you now – then the
divorce counts as such. If he was referring to the future, then this is a
threat and a warning, and the divorce does not count as such until he
fulfils his threat and divorces her. Attention should be paid to such
matters in the language of any speaker.

Fourthly:

If the husband
says: “You are divorce”, then there is a difference of scholarly opinion
concerning that: is this an explicit statement, in which case the divorce
counts as such regardless of his intention, or is it a metaphor, in which
case the divorce does not count as such unless he actually intended it?

The majority of
Hanafi, Maaliki and Hanbali scholars are of the view that it is an explicit
statement [and therefore the divorce counts as such].

Ibn Qudaamah
(may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he said, “You are divorce”, then al-Qaadi
said: All the reports from Ahmad indicate that divorce counts as such in
this case, regardless of whether he intended it or not. This is also the
view of Abu Haneefah and Maalik. There are two views among the companions of
ash-Shaafa‘i, one of which is that it is not an explicit statement, because
the word talaaq (divorce) is a masdar (verbal noun), which cannot refer to
something specific except by way of metaphor. The second view is that
divorce is an explicit term, so there is no need for it to be accompanied by
the intention, as it is customarily used among them. End quote from al-Mughni
(7/387).

It says in
al-Furoo‘ (5/395): In [the book] al-Waadih it says: If someone
says, “You are divorce”, then it counts as a divorce. Something similar is
mentioned in [the book] al-Intisaar. End quote.

Ad-Dardeer said
in ash-Sharh as-Sagheer (5/395): This is the explicit wording of
divorce, by means of which divorce takes place, even if his intention was
not such, if what he meant to say was divorce, such as if he said, I am
committed to divorce, or ‘Alayya talaaq (Divorce is binding upon me),
or You are divorce, and the like. End quote.

See also:
al-Bahr ar-Raa’iq, 3/279

The Shaafa‘is
think that the more correct view is that it is a metaphor.

An-Nawawi (may
Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Minhaaj: The explicit terms are
talaaq (divorce), firaaq (separation) and saraah
(letting go), according to the well-known view, such as saying,
Tallaqtuki (I have divorced you), Anti taaliq/mutallaqah (you are
divorced) and so on; not “Anti talaaq/at-talaaq (you are divorce).”

Ar-Ramli said in
ash-Sharh: … not “you are divorce.” This is a metaphor, like saying:
If you do such and such, then it is your divorce, as is quite clear, because
the masdar (verbal noun) is not used to refer to something specific except
on rare occasions.

End quote from
Nihaayat al-Muhtaaj (6/428)

Undoubtedly his
saying “divorce”, without saying “you are” is less indicative of divorce
than saying “you are divorce”, which appears to be a metaphor.

Based on that,
if you said “divorce (talaaq)”, as may be understood from your question, if
you intended divorce thereby, then it counts as such, but if you did not
intend that, then it does not count as a divorce.

Fifthly:

It should be
noted that most instances of divorce stem from anger, frustration and
agitation; no one speaks of divorce when he is relaxed and happy. Therefore
the fact that the husband divorced his wife in a moment of anger does not
necessarily mean that it does not count as such, as many people think,
unless the anger is so extreme that he no longer knew what he was saying, or
he lost control of himself in such a manner that he spoke without meaning
it. In that case, his divorce does not count as such, according to scholarly
consensus.

However, if he
was very angry but did not reach the stage where he was no longer aware of
what he was saying, although his anger was so intense that he was no longer
in control of himself and felt that he had been pushed to divorce, in this
case the majority of scholars are of the view that this anger does not
preclude divorce.

Some of the
scholars are of the view that that level of anger does in fact preclude
divorce. Fatwas based on this view were issued by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) and his student Ibn al-Qayyim, and
this is the more correct view, in sha Allah.

We only referred
to the majority view so that people will realise the seriousness of talking
about divorce, at moments of anger and otherwise, and will understand that
it may destroy families and cause harm to a man and to his wife because of
his haste and his failure to control his tongue. We ask Allah to keep us
safe and sound.

For more
discussion on this issue, please see the answers to questions no.
45174, 82400, and
160830.

Whatever the
case, one should beware of being hasty and taking lightly the matter of
using words of divorce, so as to protect one’s home and family.

And Allah knows
best.