One year ago I asked a question to someone which I shouldn’t have asked and the person didn’t like it and decided not to talk with me or talk less. One year later I found out the reason was this and that’s why she wasn’t talking to me. I asked her why, she said the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said if someone hurts you in any way then ignore them 100 times. Is this correct? Can you explain what the saying is and if it’s a strong hadeeth (narration), and if she did the right thing?
Praise be to Allaah
We have not come
across any hadeeth with this meaning, and we do not think that it is saheeh
(authentic) or acceptable. There are many saheeh hadeeths (authentic
narrations) which warn the Muslim against forsaking or ignoring his fellow
Muslim. There are also many verses and hadeeths which encourage forgiving
mistakes, overlooking faults and forgiving brothers and friends if they make
any mistake. So how can a hadeeth which encourages forsaking a Muslim for no
legitimate reason be saheeh?
Ameer al-Mumineen,
‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
It is not
permissible for a Muslim who hears a word from his brother to think badly of
it when he can find something good about it.
Al-Tamheed by Ibn
‘Abd al-Barr (18/20).
Al-Ahnaf ibn Qays
said: The right of a friend is that three things should be put up with from
him: offences when he is angry, offences due to familiarity and offences
made in error. Someone else said: I never reviled anyone, because if a
dignified person reviled me, it is more incumbent on me to adopt a forgiving
attitude towards him, and if an ignoble person reviled me, I would not give
him any extra reason to insult my honour.
See: Ihya ‘Uloom
al-Deen (2/183-186).
You should
understand that one of the greatest aims of the accursed shaytan (devil) and
one of his worst tricks is to instill resentment and enmity among Muslims.
It was narrated
that Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Shaytan has
despaired of being worshipped by the worshippers in the Arabian Peninsula,
but his aim is to create troubles among them.”
Hence Allah has
forbidden everything that may lead to enmity and resentment among the
Muslims. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Shaytan wants
only to incite enmity and hatred between you with intoxicants (alcoholic
drinks) and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah and from
as‑salah (the prayer). So, will you not then abstain?” [5:91]
You can read the
hadeeths which criticize the one who forsakes another in the book of al-Imam
al-Mundhiri entitled al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (3/304). In it he has a
chapter entitled: Warning against forsaking one another, bearing grudges
against one another and turning away from one another, in which he compiled
most of what is narrated in the sunnah on this topic.
Please see also
the answers to questions number
26333,
98636,
21878,
65500.
And Allah knows
best.
