I work full-time every day, so all the money I earn I spend on clothes, shoes and cleaning materials, whilst my husband spends on rent, bills and some other things. I want to know what are the things my husband must spend on for me. For example, does he only have to clothe me if all my clothes are worn out? And my husband tells me: “If you want me to spend on you for everything, then you should stay home and not work.”
Praise
be to Allah
Firstly:
In the answer to question no. 3054, we
quoted sufficient evidence from the Quran and Sunnah, and scholarly
consensus, to prove that it is obligatory for the husband to spend on his
wife, according to his means, and that he does not have the right to make
her pay for her own expenses, even if she is rich, except with her
agreement.
This spending on the wife’s maintenance includes everything
having to do with her clothing, summer and winter. It does not mean that he
has to do that every year or every season, even if she already has clothing,
some of which she may not have worn. And it does not mean that he should not
do that except when her clothes wear out. Rather clothing her should be done
according to what his wife needs and his ability to pay for her clothes,
without that having an impact on his other commitments, or, as the Quran
puts it, it should be on a reasonable basis:
“Upon the father is the mothers’ provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable (on a reasonable basis).”
[al-Baqarah 2:233].
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: That is, it
should be in line with what is customary among women like her in her
country, without any extravagance or stinting, and according to what the
husband can afford, whether he is well off, of moderate means, or in
financial difficulty. End quote.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer
(1/634).
We should point out here that a woman who is working may need
clothing that a woman who is not working does not need, because she wants to
have new clothes to wear in front of her female colleagues at work. This is
not something that she is entitled to from her husband; rather his duty
towards her is to provide for her the clothing that she wears at home, and
what she wears to go out on religious permissible occasions, with his
permission. This is something that is not judged by a particular standard;
rather it varies according to the wife’s nature and environment.
Secondly:
If the wife stipulated, at the time of marriage, that her
husband allow her to work, then he must allow her to carry on with her work,
unless the nature of her work changes and it becomes unlawful, such as if
she is working with non-mahram men, or the nature of the work is unlawful,
such as working in riba-based banks or insurance companies, and the like.
The same applies if her work requires her to travel, and she does not have a
mahram. If any such things occur, then the husband must intervene to
prevent her from continuing with her work, and in this case he is not
contravening that condition; rather he is acting in accordance with the
teachings of Islam which makes him responsible for his wife: “Whoever
stipulates a condition that is not in accordance with the Book of Allah, he
has no right to do so, even if he stipulates a hundred conditions.” [Agreed
upon].
But if her work does not involve any of these things, then he
has no right to prevent her from working; rather he must fulfil the
condition to which he agreed when he married her. Allah, may He be exalted,
says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts.”
[al-Maidah 5:1].
It was narrated from ‘Uqbah that the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be
fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari (2572) and Muslim (1418).
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood (3594); classed as saheeh by al-Albani
in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
With regard to the salary of a working wife, it is hers by
right, and her husband has no right to take any of it except with her
consent. All of this applies if it was stipulated in the marriage contract
that she be allowed to work, as noted above.
Thirdly:
If it was not stipulated in the marriage contract that the
wife be allowed to work, then the husband may allow her to work in return
for her contributing to the household expenses, according to whatever they
agree to, because the time she spends at work is something to which he is
entitled, so he has the right to be compensated for that, on a reasonable
basis.
Al-Bahooti (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
A woman may not be employed, after the marriage contract is
done with her, without her husband’s permission, because that impacts upon
the husband’s rights.
End quote from ar-Rawd al-Murbi‘ (9271).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) said:
The husband is obliged to spend upon his family, upon his
wife and children, on a reasonable basis, even if the wife is rich. The
husband is obliged to spend, and that includes cases where the wife is a
teacher, and it has been stipulated that the husband allow her to continue
teaching. Yet he has no right to take anything from her salary, not half and
not more or less. The salary is hers, so long as it was stipulated in the
marriage contract that he should not prevent her from teaching and he agreed
to that. So he does not have the right to prevent her from teaching, and he
does not have the right to take anything from her salary; it is hers.
But if it was not stipulated that he allow her to teach, then
when they got married he said: Do not teach, then in this case they should
come to an agreement however they wish. For example, he could say: I will
let you carry on teaching on condition that you give me half of your salary,
or two thirds, or three quarters, or one quarter, and the like, according to
whatever they agree upon. But if it was stipulated (in the marriage
contract) that she may teach, and he accepted that, then he does not have
the right to prevent her and he does not have the right to take anything
from her salary. End quote.
Sharh Riyadh as-Saliheen
(6/143, 144)
Fourthly:
We advise both spouses not to create troubles between
themselves by arguing over money, which may make their relationship more
like that of partners in business! Rather they are partners in establishing
a family and building a home, so such disputes between spouses are not
appropriate. The woman should willingly help her husband to deal with the
difficulties of life, and the husband should refrain as much as possible
from taking money from her, because that has a negative impact on his
position as qawwam (protector and maintainer), which Allah has based on the
fact that he spends on her, as He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation
of the meaning):
“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.”
[an-Nisa 4:34].
The husband must differentiate between what the wife
contributes to maintenance of the family and house, and what she gives him
by way of lending. It is not permissible for the wife to ask him for the
former, because she spent it willingly and it is not permissible for her to
take it back, unlike the latter, which is within her rights.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baz (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:
There is nothing wrong with you taking your wife’s salary
with her consent, if she is a woman of mature thinking, and the same applies
to everything that she gives you by way of help. There is nothing wrong with
you accepting it, if she gave it willingly and is a woman of mature
thinking, because Allah, may He be exalted, says at the beginning of Soorat
an-Nisa (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”
[an-Nisa
4:4],
even if that is without any written documentation. But if she
gave it to you with written documentation, then that is more prudent, if you
fear some objection from her family or relatives, or you fear that she may
change her mind. End quote.
Fatawa ash-Shaykh Ibn Baz
(20/44).
Ash-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Mukhtar ash-Shinqeeti (may
Allah have mercy on him) said:
She should not take any employment or work except with her
husband’s permission. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“Men are in charge of women”
[an-Nisa 4:34].
One of the rules that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted,
has assigned to men is that they should be in charge of their wives’
affairs.
Therefore, the husband should note that he is a shepherd and
is responsible for his flock, and the woman is part of his flock. If he
thinks that there is an interest to be served by her going out to work, he
should give her permission and help her, especially nowadays. How many
righteous women there are through whom Allah benefits people by means of
their going out to teach and the like, which is good for her and for the
ummah. So men should not deprive women of their rights, mistreat them or
make things difficult for them.
But if he thinks that it is better for her not to do that,
then I advise the woman to give thanks to Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted, and to obey her husband, for by Allah besides Whom there is no
other god, there is no woman who believes in Allah and at the Last Day, who
listens to her husband and obeys him, out of faith in Allah, especially if
he has an attitude of protective jealousy and loves good for her, and he
seeks reward with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, but Allah will
grant her joy in this world and the Hereafter. She has to accept and be
content, and not look down on the ruling of Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted. Rather she should accept that and be wholeheartedly content with
it, for whoever accepts Allah’s ruling will attain Allah’s pleasure. Allah,
may He be glorified and exalted, has promised to the one who hears and obeys
success and victory, which includes success in religious matters, worldly
matters and in the hereafter, and it includes victory in religious matters,
worldly matters and in the hereafter. Each woman should examine her own
situation, for no hour or day passes when she is listening to her husband
and obeying him on a reasonable basis, but she will find in doing so such
goodness as only Allah knows.
How many incidents and stories we have heard of concerning
righteous women whose husbands told them to do something so they did it, and
told them not to do something so they refrained from it, and as a result of
that Allah granted them goodness such as only He knows. And how much trouble
lies in wait for women when they go out. Therefore, Allah has given their
husbands the power to prevent them from going out, and if they fear Allah,
Allah will suffice them against trouble. Perhaps if they went out they would
go astray and lead others astray, but Allah, by His grace, guided them to hear
and obey. This is something known from experience.
End quote from Sharh Zad al-Mustaqni‘ by ash-Shaykh ash-Shinqeeti
And Allah knows best.
