I am a Muslim woman, and I am living with my non-Muslim parents. When I became Muslim, our relationship went through some problems, and they began to speak harshly about Islam and Muslims, but with the passage of time, they both began to accept the situation more, and Allah, may He be exalted, softened their hearts towards me and towards Islam. Now they take into consideration what matters to me, and they have started to eat halal food and so on. But my parents drink wine with their dinner, and they always sit with me, because eating together is a custom that is honoured in our house. My parents know that I do not like alcohol, and I always tell them about that, but I cannot stop them from drinking it in their house, and my father has told me that bluntly.
Should I not sit with them? I know that this will cause trouble in our relationship once more, and they feel hurt if I refuse to sit with them. Can you advise me about this matter?
Praise
be to Allah
Firstly:
We praise Allah,
may He be exalted, for having guided you to Islam, and we ask Him to make
you steadfast and help you, and to guide your parents and loved ones.
You should
strive to call your parents to Islam and give them their rights of respect
and kind treatment, as our great religion commands.
Secondly:
It is not
permissible to sit at a table where alcohol is being drunk, because of the
report narrated by Ahmad and at-Tirmidhi (2801) from Jaabir, according to
which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever
believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not sit at a table where alcohol
is being drunk.” In al-Fat-h, al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar attributed this
hadith to an-Nasaa’i and classed its isnaad as jayyid. It was classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel (7/6).
That is because
drinking alcohol is a grave evil and a major sin; it is not permissible to
do it or approve of it. The believer is required to denounce evil by taking
action; if he is not able to do that, then by speaking out; and if he is not
able to do that, then by disapproving of it in his heart, but in that case
he must get up and move away from the place where the evil is being
committed, if he is able to do so.
See also the
answers to questions no. 145587 and
94936.
This is the
general principle, that one should not sit at the table when wine is being
drunk. So if your parents drink alcohol after the meal, then eat with them
and leave before they start drinking. If they drink during the meal, if you
can avoid sitting with them without fearing a greater evil as a result, then
do that, and explain that your religion does not let you sit with them in
that case.
If you are
afraid that this may result in trouble and harm – and not just annoying them
– such as them kicking you out of the house or being put off from listening
to you when there are signs of their being interested in Islam, then it is
permissible for you to sit with them, whilst hating it and disapproving of
it in your heart.
You should
explain the evils of alcohol and the harm that it causes, and the reasons
why it is prohibited. Please see question no. 40882
for more information.
We ask Allah to
guide and help us and you.
And Allah knows
best.
