I have a friend whose daughter has reached the age of seven years, and she wanted to have a party for her daughter so as to tell her that she now has to pray, and to explain to her that the reason for this celebration and party is the prayer. I objected to her and pointed out that parties and gatherings are not a means of teaching the prayer; how can we teach our children how to pray and make them understand its importance by celebrating and having fun? If she were to promise her a party after she learns the prayer, so as to honour her, that would be closer to what is right, but doing it before she has learned the prayer is not appropriate. But she thinks that the party will encourage the child to pray, and she accused me of being unduly harsh and extreme. Is having a party before starting to teach the child regarded as a means of making the child love the prayer? Please tell us what is the correct view, with evidence.

Praise
be to Allah

There is nothing wrong with the mother having a small
party on the occasion of her daughter reaching the age of seven years,
if she intends thereby to encourage her daughter to pray. That is for
the following reasons: 

Firstly: 

This party is not a religious celebration or festival that
will be repeated, so it comes under the heading of customs and traditions
which, in Islamic fiqh, are regarded as permissible in principle, according
to the guidelines on customs and traditions. 

Imam ash-Shaatibi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

With regard to customs and traditions, it is prescribed to
look at the basis for them and not to justify them on the basis of religious
texts. This is in contrast to acts of worship, in which it is well-known
that the opposite principle applies (that they must be strictly based on the
texts).

End quote from al-Waafiqaat (2/523) 

On our website we have previously mentioned the guideline
that the principle with regard to customs and traditions is that they are
permissible, in several answers which you may see by clicking on the
following numbers: 135458 and
149278. 

Secondly: 

This type of educational methods comes under the heading of
means and methods, in a broad sense, that Islam allows and shows lenience
towards, and leaves up to people and whatever they may come up with that is
appropriate to their social and cultural environment. Encouraging someone to
pray and persist in doing religious duties is one of the aims of sharee‘ah
and the means  of fulfilling that is also prescribed, whether it is by means
of direct exhortation, or by means of fun and games, or by academic methods,
or by celebrating with family and friends. All of these are Islamically
acceptable means of attaining a shar‘i aim, and the means come under the
same rulings as the ends. 

Thirdly: 

It makes no difference whether the encouragement comes before
teaching the prayer or after teaching the prayer. If people have no
objection to rewarding a child for persisting in prayer, then they should
have no objection either to having a small party in the child’s honour, to
announce and motivate him, and  to announce the beginning of a new stage in
his life. 

Fourthly: 

It is proven from the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with
them) that they used the means that were available at that time for the
purpose of remaining steadfast in worship. It was narrated that ar-Rubayyi‘
bint Mu‘awwidh (may Allah be pleased with her) said: After that, we used to
fast on this day [i.e., ‘Ashoora’], and we would make our children fast too.
We would make them toys out of wool, and if one of them cried for food, we
would give (that toy) to him until it was time to break the fast.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1960) and Muslim (1136) 

This indicates that one may use various educational methods
and it is permissible to come up with whatever he thinks is appropriate, and
that this is not a matter that is restricted to what is mentioned in the
texts; rather the matter is broad in scope, according to what is appropriate
in any given situation. 

Among the types of feasts and celebratory foods, the fuqaha’
have mentioned food that is offered when a child completes the Qur’an. This
is done to show happiness and gratitude after attaining some religious
virtue, even though there is no basis for doing this in the Sunnah. 

Fifthly: 

Finally, it is not appropriate to be so strict with regard to
such matters, so that that does not result in people being put off from
religion or lead to being too strict with people, to the point that religion
becomes too hard for people. Islam, which is easy-going, does not object to
any customs or traditions except those which are corrupt or lead to
corruption, in which case you will find that most scholars are agreed on the
reason for the prohibition of that custom. 

But if there does not seem to be any cause of corruption,
then in that case talking about prohibition is reckless, and one should be
very careful and think very hard lest the one who forbids it ends up doing
something that the mushrikeen did, for which Allah criticised them in the
verse in which He says (interpretation of the meaning):


“Say: ‘Bring
forward your witnesses, who can testify that Allah has forbidden this. Then
if they testify, testify not you (O Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him)) with them. And you should not follow the vain desires of such
as treat Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations,
etc.) as falsehoods, and such as believe not in the Hereafter, and they hold
others as equal (in worship) with their Lord’”


[al-An‘aam 6:150]. 

And Allah knows best.