What is required to accept and convert to Islam

To the venerable Ms. (name withheld) (may
Allah protect you from every evil), Please accept from me a good-intentioned
greeting!

I was extremely pleased to receive your
questions regarding the nature of the relationship between men and women in
Islam and how one goes about embracing this religion. I also commend and appreciate
your wise and mature sense of judgment in supporting your friend’s decision
to accept Islam. It shows admirable wisdom and a balanced sense of sagacity
and understanding of this blessed event.

Regarding the issue of dating in Islam,
one must first define what is meant by “dating.” If it is understood
to mean how a man and a woman get to know each other for the purpose of marriage,
then there are certain guidelines and established procedures which can be discussed.
However, if it is understood to refer to casual relationships between men and
women who for the purpose of “fun” or “going out” and the
such, then there is no provision for this in Islam. Such a situation is not
considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman, nor is it constructive
for the concept or the building of the family or society or social responsibility.
Opening the door to relationships of love and infatuation and passion and pre-marital
sex is categorically prohibited in Islam. It does not lead to the establishment
of a family nor to proper and virtuous upbringing of children nor to stability
and mutual care and tranquility and peace of mind between a man and woman. Rather,
it leads to disorder, the disgracing of one’s honor and dignity, and to a lifestyle
similar to that of animals, and to that of illegitimate children who are subjected
to life of vagrancy and loss. (Please see question
# 61
which addresses the issue of prohibition of pre-marital relationships).

As for the former case, regarding how a
man and a woman come to know each other for the purpose of marriage, it varies
from circumstance to circumstance. Normally if a man has the desire to marry
and has the ability to accept the responsibility, and he does not have anyone
in mind, he will ask his friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that
may be suitable for him and his expectations among their acquaintances and relatives.
If someone is suggested, he normally asks about her extensively, about her religious
observance, her personality, her knowledge, strengths, weaknesses, suitability
as a wife willing to accept all the relevant responsibities, etc. If preliminary
information seems appealing, then normally she is told that there is someone
interested in meeting her and she is likewise given relevant information about
him.

At this point, assuming the man and the
woman as well as both families involved agree that there is potential, then
the man usually visits the woman’s family, often accompanied by members of his
own. They are given the opportunity to see each other and sit and talk together,
to converse modestly (but not in complete solitude) regarding whatever is relevant
to making an informed judgment. The intention for this meeting should be for
them to be able to make a decision whether or not they feel are mutually suitable.
Afterwards, they each evaluate their own and their families’ reactions, and
pray to Allah that He guides them to what is in their best interest, and to
make them accept the outcome. When both sides feel comfortable and feel they
know everything they need to, based on all that has been mentioned such as asking
about the other person, knowing their family, meeting in person, etc., they
can make a final decision whether to carry on with marriage or not.

As for your second question regarding the
procedure for embracing the religion of Islam, it is actually an extremely simple
process, without complication or prolongment. This is because it is something
between a person and his Lord and there are no other parties involved. All that
is required of a person in order to embrace Islam is that he or she pronounce
the two testaments of belief in the Islamic creed, believing in their meaning,
then to take a complete bath with the intention of (ritual) purification in
order to start performing prayers (note to ensure complete cleanliness one should
shave pubic and under-arm hair, and a man should be circumcized if he is not
already–Islam places great emphasis on proper hygiene and personal cleanliness).

As for the two testimonies of creed, the
first is “ash-hadu an laa ilaaha illa allah” (I testify that
there is no deity other then Allah), which means that one believes and confirms
that there is nothing to be worshipped other than Allah and that one is prepared
to implement His divine rulings and guidlines (shari’a) for all aspects of life.
The second is “ash-hadu anna muhammad ar-rasool ullah” which
means the belief that Muhammad (peace be upon him)
is the seal of the prophets (i.e. the final one), whom Allah has sent with the
Islamic religion to supercede all other previous religions and that it is obligatory
to comply with what he has enjoined, and to abstain and renounce all that he
has prohibited and restrained.

I tend to gather from your question that
there is a degree of pondering on your part or inclination towards embracing
the Islamic religion, joining the example of your friend. I would invite you
to carry through with it without excessive delay and reluctance, for one does
not know when one’s fate will come. So why not meet one’s unavoidable fate as
a believer in Allah (God) and the Hereafter, a member of the religion of Islam?
It is the religion which Allah has specified that He will not accept any other
religion besides it, and He will not save anyone from Hell besides its followers.
And no doubt that this step will be the greatest thing ever that you will have
experienced during your 33 years of life. Surely you will not regret it at all
and Allah will help you to surmount the difficulties you perhaps may face in
your path after accepting Islam, such as the scorn of some relatives or family
members or the alientation of some friends. However, the step in fulfilling
your destiny is much more important and significant that all this.

We pray for you to be bestowed with grace,
and may Allah guide you to success in what is the most true and right.

Waiting for glad tidings in the near future,
may Allah guard and protect you.